


Miss Kurosawa's Dragon Idol

by AyasakiArchive



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2019-11-16 09:25:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18091730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AyasakiArchive/pseuds/AyasakiArchive
Summary: Miss Kurosawa gets a dragon for a roommate.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Or, as an alternative name, Kurosawa-san no Aidorugon.

When Kanan first came to this world without dragons, she had no idea she'd be so taken with it. After all, with no dragons, that meant the dominant creatures of this world were... humans. The very thought had made her lip curl in disdain, even as she took on a human form to better explore this new world.

But after spending time in this human world, Kanan grew to love it. Instead of constantly skirmishing against human paladins and sentinels from heaven, she could be lackadaisical, lounging around on an inflatable flotation device in human guise as she sipped lemonade under the sun. The fact that her magic vastly overpowered anything this world could throw at her was awesome too.

The best part however, was that Kanan could explore the deep blue seas whenever she wanted, hunting fish without any sort of competition from her peers.

For her, this place was paradise.

So it was little wonder that one of the few dragons she kept in contact with on the other side decided to cross over to join her.

* * *

" _Shiny_!"

Kanan chuckled in amusement as her blonde friend ran into the crowded streets of Tokyo like a kid in a candy store, eyes wide and filled with amazement and wonder. It was quite the contrast to her initial reaction to this world.

Mari hadn't exactly been impressed with the white sandy beach she'd first crossed over to, but a quick train ride to the heart of the nearby metropolis had completely changed her perspective.

"I thought you might like it," remarked Kanan as she joined her excited friend. "Human city life in this world is so much more fast paced and glamorous than human city life back home. I think you'll fit right in. Anyway, I know a nice little place nearby where we can get food. Want to see what a restaurant is?"

She turned to look at Mari, only to notice that the blonde had stopped in front of a giant TV screen as it played video footage of a concert.

"Oh? Do you like the idols? They're apparently some up and coming group that's been making the rounds for a couple months."

"...idols?"

Kanan nodded. "Yeah. They're like the human bards from our world, but actually likable."

Mari stared at the screen with stars in her eyes. "I want to be an idol!"

* * *

"Please Kanan! Can't I stay with you?" pleaded Mari as the pair continued through the city streets.

"Mari, I literally live in the ocean, and you don't like getting wet nearly as much as I do," stated the blunette. "There's no way it would work out for you."

Mari pouted but yielded the point. "Can't you at least help me find a place then? You've been here a while, surely you know how this world works."

Kanan hummed in concern but didn't say anything as the pair stopped for a crosswalk.

"It doesn't have to be a long term solution," pressed Mari, "A quick fix is fine for now, just until I make it big and can find a place on my own!"

The blunette fixed her friend with a sideways stare, noting the desperation gleaming in those golden irises. Sighing in resignation, she began to think.

"Let's see..." pondered Kanan aloud, "Today's Saturday, so... Okay!" She turned back to Mari with a grin. "I've got an idea. Follow me!"

* * *

Mari couldn't help but marvel at the way Kanan guided her effortlessly through the crowded streets of Tokyo, streaming through the sea of people as readily as she would an actual sea. She did her best to observe and learn from the experience. After all, when she became a famous idol, avoiding crowds would become a necessity.

Twenty minutes of walking and three train rides later, Kanan led her to a small third-floor apartment in one of the city's nicer wards. The blunette knocked casually, even going so far as to lean against the door frame.

The door opened to reveal an elegant woman with piercing emerald eyes and streaming raven hair.

"Dia!" greeted the blunette with a winning smile.

Dia blinked. "Kanan-san? This is certainly a surprise." Her eyes briefly flickered to Mari. "I see you've brought a friend. Please, come in."

* * *

Dia listened attentively as Kanan explained.

"This is my good friend Mari. She needs a place to stay for a while and I was hoping she could live with you for a bit."

"Excuse me?! You bring a stranger to my home and ask me to let her live here?!"

"Yeah," nodded Kanan as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "So? How about it?"

"No! Why would I even consider such a ridiculous notion?"

"Please? She really has nowhere else to go. She doesn't even have money for a hotel."

"What's a hotel?" chimed in Mari.

"It's like a fancy inn except without the nightly brawls," answered Kanan.

"Why can't she stay with you?" demanded Dia.

"I've told you before. I sleep underwater in my dragon form. Mari can't do that."

Dia scoffed in disbelief. "Yes, yes, you and your dragon peculiarities," she said dismissively. "Look, even if I was willing, this is not a two-person apartment. It's barely a one-person apartment!"

"Yeah, what's with that anyway? I've seen enough to know you can seize a larger dwelling anytime you want, given how large your familial dwelling is."

"For the last time, it's not that simple," growled the ravenette as she prepared yet another lecture on the intricacies of human society and economics.

"Excuse me," interjected Mari. Piercing emerald eyes were drawn to the blonde, focusing intently as they sized her up. "Dia, was it? I realize this is a lot to ask from you, but I swear on my scales and on my pride as a Gold Dragon that I shall repay your kindness a thousandfold once I have made my fortunes as a genuine Tokyo idol!"

Dia narrowed her eyes at the blonde before leaning towards her. "Hmph. You claim to be an aspiring idol then? You think you can simply enter the entertainment industry with nothing but shallow greed and a pretty smile and rise to the top without even a shred of knowledge of what real idols must endure?"

Mari was taken aback. "...you think I have a pretty smile?"

An anger mark appeared on her head and Dia snarled aggressively. "How dare you presume yourself to be idol worthy?! Do you even know of the nine great Muses of the idol world? How nine young women simultaneously took the entertainment industry and the streets of Akihabara by storm with their charm, their poise, and their sincerity?! I doubt someone as naive as you has even heard of Honoka Kousaka, the humble baker's daughter with a heartmelting smile of gold, Umi Sonoda, the prim and proper heiress of a dojo with sensible maturity and streaming indigo hair..."

Mari leaned over to whisper to Kanan. "How long is this rant going to go on for?"

Kanan shrugged. "I couldn't tell you. But hey, at least now you know you both have something in common. Idols."

"She certainly seems passionate."

"I know right? It's one of my favorite things about her."

They returned their attention to Dia.

"...and the greatest of the nine Muses, Eli Ayase! With her radiant aura of warmth and kindness, and her flawless sense of style and dancing!" She slammed her hands on the table and leaned in over them intimidatingly. "And you seek to share their glory? _Absolutely ridiculous_."

But Mari remained unphased. "I can do it. All I need is a place to stay while I make my debut and I'll become the number one idol in all Japan."

"Impossible," dismissed Dia.

"Well then. Why don't you let me stay? After all, if it's really impossible than it doesn't matter if I try," said Mari.

"I am NOT letting you stay with me."

The blonde stuck her lower lip out in an exaggerated pout. "Oh I see how it is. You're just afraid because you know if you give me the chance I'll dethrone your favorite idol."

"As if that would ever happen! Eli's greatness extends far above the fame and brilliance of her peers! In the idol world, she is legendary, the holy ground, the holy scripture, the origin of life equivalent to the universe! We are but insects beneath her divine radiance!"

Mari grunted with offense. "So you say, but that's not really true, is it? You're afraid," she taunted, "You just don't have faith in your beloved Eli to keep her crown against all challengers. If this Eli person can't even inspire unshakable faith in her most ardent follower, then I guess she's not so great after all..." She sniffed derisively. "What a fake."

"You dare?!" howled Dia.

"I dare!" challenged Mari.

A long silence stretched as Dia and Mari glared at one another, neither willing to give an inch. Between them, Kanan sipped her tea nonchalantly.

"Fine," said Dia eventually. "I'm willing to let you stay. But!" she snapped, preempting Mari's victory cheer, "I have two conditions."

"Name them," replied Mari with a smirk.

"The first is simple. Eli required five years before her numerous, wondrous charms were rightfully recognized by the world and she was elevated to the glorious position she so richly deserves. But since you're not Eli... you must make _some_ worthwhile progress within one year. If you cannot do so, you will be evicted."

"Easy," bragged Mari, flipping her hair dismissively. "I'll become so famous and loved that at year's end, I'll take her place as your number one idol."

Dia's nostrils flared in offense but she didn't respond. "As for my second condition, I refuse to host a freeloader. I won't expect you to acquire a regular job, but I will expect you to pitch in with the housework; clean the floors, cook meals, do laundry. In essence, you'll become my live-in maid."

The blonde merely raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"So? Will you accept my terms?"

Kanan and Mari exchanged a glance, before the latter offered up a pleased grin. "It's a deal!"

.

.

.

**OMAKE:**

After concluding their deal, Mari still had one question. "So do I get to wear a sexy maid outfit?"

Kanan and Dia looked at her with judging stares.

"Mari-san, how is it that you've been in this world for less than a day and you know about sexy maid outfits?" asked Dia.

The blonde shrugged. "I once kidnapped a princess and her handmaid while they were in the middle of their foreplay. It was a very informative abduction."


	2. Chapter 2

And so it was that the Gold Dragon Mari began living with Miss Kurosawa. But it wasn't smooth sailing for the aspiring idol and her gracious hostess. In fact, it was more like Beginner's Sailing.

* * *

**(2.1)**

"Please Dia?" begged Mari, doing the best impression of puppy dog eyes she could manage. Which, given that she'd never seen a puppy's eyes before, was pretty good.

Not that Dia was affected. "No! For the last time, you don't need a maid uniform!"

"Of course I do! Even if I'm not required to wear it while I perform my maid duties, I still need to practice wearing idol costumes. After all, even your favorite idol had to work hard to get to where she is today. You agreed not to sabotage me, yet here you are, refusing me even the most basic of idol costumes."

"Don't you dare try to turn this around on me!"

"Oh, why not get her a simple maid uniform?" interjected Kanan, "She doesn't have anything else to wear, and it's not like you can't afford it."

"I'm already providing room and board for her. Never did I say I would provide clothing as well," hissed Dia.

Kanan hummed in acknowledgement, disappointed but not surprised. She continued to think as Dia and Mari renewed the issue. What would make Dia agree to get Mari a maid uniform? Perhaps if she got something out of it, but what could possibly...

"I've got it!" declared the blunette. Dia and Mari looked over at her as she stood and began perusing a small bookcase, running a finger along the edge of the shelf before taking out a binder and flipping through it.

"Kanan-san," began Dia with a stern note of warning, "What are you doing?"

"Just looking through your Eli trading cards," she replied nonchalantly.

"What's a trading card?" asked Mari. "And when do I get my own?"

A small smile found its way to Kanan's face as she found what she was looking for. She turned the binder around carefully to show the others her discovery. "Dia? Wouldn't you like to see this for real?" she said with a smirk. "Mari can make it happen."

She was pointing to the Super Rare Eli Ayase Cafe Maid card.

As soon as the human saw what Kanan was showing her, her eyes narrowed. "How dare you use this against me."

Mari was also not thrilled. "Wait a minute, I'm not going to become an idol by riding on someone else's coattails! Besides, I like this hairstyle."

"Oh, I don't think you need to worry about that. Dia probably wouldn't be able to function for too long with her idol in such close proximity anyway. But it would be good acting practice, don't you think? You get to emulate one of the greatest idols in existence and Dia gets to fulfill her fantasies. It could be a once-a-month thing."

Dia and Mari exchanged glances, before looking to Kanan in unison. "Agreed," they chorused.

"Now give me my cards back," snapped Dia as she swiped the binder.

* * *

**(2.2)**

"What's this?" asked Mari, her gold eyes staring curiously at the contraption before her.

"It's a stove," explained Dia impatiently. "You cook with it."

Mari gave the stove a lengthy visual inspection, blinking curiously as she tried to puzzle out how it worked. "There's no heat," she observed.

"You have to turn it on." To demonstrate, Dia worked a knob and a small flame erupted from the burner.

"You cook with this piddly little thing?" scoffed Mari. "I can create far more fire that burns brighter and hotter. Watch!"

Emerald eyes widened. "Wait-!"

Mari loosed a torrent of golden-orange flames that just so happened to engulf the nearby rice cooker, incinerating the single most important appliance in any Japanese kitchen. When she was done, all that was left was a pile of ashes.

Dia's glare was downright murderous. " _MARI-SAN...!_ " she growled.

"Um... it's joke?"

* * *

**(2.3)**

"Ooh! What's this?" wondered Mari excitedly as her hand moved to slide open a cabinet.

"Don't touch that!" exclaimed Dia. She went to stop the blonde, but it was too late.

The door opened up to reveal an intricate arrangement of certain pieces of merchandise, all of them featuring the likeness of a familiar blonde with ice blue eyes. Surrounding the merchandise was a ring of scented flower petals and unlit electric candles, all of it paying homage to the 23cm tall figure of Eli Ayase standing in the center.

Mari hummed curiously as she turned a twinkling eye to Dia, the ravenette already slamming the door shut with a scarlet flush on her face.

"...This isn't what it looks like," muttered the human eventually.

"Oh? Are you sure? Because it looks like I found your idol shrine." Dia didn't respond. "Though I have to say, I thought it'd be in a more prominent place given that you're her biggest fan, not shoved away in some corner of your apartment like a dirty little secret," she teased.

"This is the most ideal spot I have for her!" snapped Dia.

"I'm sure it is," said Mari condescendingly. Her smirk widened. "But it's nice to know you build these. After all, I can't wait to see what you'll do for mine."

* * *

**(2.4)**

Kanan took in the sights of everyday life in the side streets, the blunette having decided to spend the day stretching her legs on land as she walked down the plaza. Then her smile fell into a confused frown as her eye caught something rather unusual. Or rather, someone acting unusual.

"Mari? Why are you invisible?"

"Oh Kanan, hi! Watch this."

Kanan watched as Mari picked an apple from the fruit stand and ate it.

But the regular human shopping for fruit next to Mari instead saw an apple hover in midair before being devoured piecemeal, core and all. Dropping her basket, the human ran off with a terrifying shriek of "Shinigami!" echoing in her wake.

"What was that all about?" wondered Kanan.

"No idea. But that's the third one today! Wanna try it?"

"Hmm..."

And that was how _Kudamo no Kudamono_ earned a reputation for being haunted.

* * *

**(2.5)**

When Dia returned home that night, she came face to face with a very disgruntled dragon maid. "Dia. We need to talk."

She frowned. Dia had never seen Mari with such a stern expression on her face. Taking her shoes off and setting her briefcase down, she nodded as she went to sit across from the blonde. "What is it that concerns you, Mari-san?"

"I was doing the laundry earlier and what I found disturbs me greatly."

Dia immediately gave the blonde her complete attention. Was the washer-dryer unit broken? Was the new detergent ruining her linens? Was there an infestation of rats chewing through her clothes?!

Mari cleared her throat before standing, an intense stare still on her face. Then, with a snap of her fingers, she pointed to the ravenette and declared. "You! Have! Boring! Underwear!" With each pause, miniature flashes of magical light exploded behind her to punctuate for emphasis.

Seconds ticked by in silence as Dia took that in.

"...what."

"You have boring underwear!" repeated Mari indignantly. "All the same color and all the same style! I can't have my future number one fan have such a boring wardrobe, especially when it comes to underwear. You should have something sexy and elegant, but there isn't even a single frill in sight... Oh how sad..." She looked away in exaggerated pity.

Dia jumped up. "You-! My choice of unmentionables is not open for discussion!" snapped Dia. "And what do you even know about this topic anyway? You don't even wear any!"

"Dia, I'm a dragon," said Mari with a flip of her hair, "And we dragons are far too majestic to lower ourselves to-"

"Majestic my foot," retorted the ravenette, "You dragons can be just as uncouth as us humans."

"Maybe Kanan can be, but as a Gold Dragon, I would never-"

"I've seen you drool in your sleep. It's not pretty."

Mari recoiled. "Wha-! That has nothing to do with the subject at hand! Besides, it's not as if you ever clean up any drool," she snapped defensively.

"Of course not," replied Dia dryly. "I have a maid for that."

In the end, Dia refused to buy new underwear and Mari was forced to chalk up a win for humanity. She also had to look into how to stop drooling while asleep.

* * *

**(2.6)**

"So how did the two of you meet anyway?" asked Mari.

Dia sighed and shook her head in exasperation as Kanan chuckled behind her. "Well, that's quite the story..." began the blunette.

Her flashback began...

_Kanan let out a loud groan of satisfaction as she stretched, taking her first steps onto the white, sandy beach, water droplets glistening on her flawless skin as she shook her hair out. It'd been a week since she'd last walked on dry land, and she could truly appreciate the warm sand on her toes._

_Behind her was a sign bearing the words: 'Private Property of the Kurosawa Family. Trespassers will be prosecuted.'_

...then it was interrupted.

"She washed up on my family's private beach completely naked," deadpanned Dia. "I had to teach her the concept of modesty."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN - The end of 2.4 is a pun in Japanese, where the store name translates to Kudamo's Fruit. Also, is Death Note still relevant? :P


End file.
